When a bomb goes off, you know before it blows. That is if you are the one setting it off. But that is rare, most of the time you are not. The fuse is lit, you run, others run because you are running. As the fuse burns up it gets closer, closer, closer to blowing. Chain reaction; all happening because you decided. Was it you or someone else? What lead to that final decision? I for one would love to know.
Let’s take that back a step, no destruction. For now. Think of yourself in elementary school, sitting in the sun-lit classroom with artwork on the walls; creativity and awe in the breath of every child. Then the question gets asked. “What do you want to be when you grow up?” A freeze in the room, then the happy noise starts again. You think to yourself “When I am mommy’s age what will I do”. Then the answer “Well I love my art teacher because she is so nice. I’ll be an art teacher.” Then you go back to your finger painting of ponies dancing on a rainbow. Now you think about it, why were you so naive? You are sitting in a lab and testing dna to find matches. Well I guess it’s a kind of art. It sure as heck takes as much time. Maybe the last true art you made were ponies dancing on a rainbow in elementary school.
How did you get here? Why are you standing in a lab coat frantically attempting to find a solution instead of teaching fingerpainting? Maybe it was those frogs that you had as a pet when you were five. Or was it the first time you watched that weird nerd show about aliens your older brother loved. Something sparked it. If you had gotten a dog instead of a frog would you be here? If you didn’t accept to watch that nerd show with your older brother would you have wondered what makes us human and not alien?
For fun, lets say it was that nerd show. Being about 11 years old, you are still questioning everything and the whole world around you. Why are we how we are? Yesterday in class you learned about the formation of the earth and where people come from. Then as soon as you see the alien show, you needed to find the answer. Why are we how we are? So you decided to do something about it. Summer camp it is. And you keep going back; year after year after year. Soon you start to volunteer and realize that six years have passed and you ask yourself again. “Why are we how we are?” Well you know the hard science but still; it’s not enough for you.
The times comes for you to leave camp and you feel lost. How is it that the place that provided you with so many answers is a place that is no longer for you? You have to move on. College is over and lets just say you know enough about facts and reasons behind life. You can answer your question. “Why are we how we are?’ But it is not enough. You want to see why we are who we are.
And that brings us to right now. Why you are drawing charts about sections of dna and their origins instead of teaching fingerpainting of ponies dancing on rainbows like you dreamed all those years ago? You wonder still, was it really that 20 minutes of my life watching that nerd show that lead to the rest of my life slowly forming right in front of my eyes? Yes. You wonder how it could have been if only you decided to skip that show and finish you fingerpainting of ponies dancing on a rainbow. Where would you be now?